overgrowth of time

lack of bloggage lately corresponds to disappearance of said blog and the pain and suffering thus caused. [that sentence does not make sense, but one should excuse this due to inability to practice writing in coherent sensical sentences due to temporary death of blog.]

so much has happened, yet little to tell. it's funny how my 'issues' seem so profound and impactful and important on the day they are experienced. but when days merge into weeks, all my little problems are revealed as just that, just a mere stitch in the patchwork of the quilt of life. man, i am SUCH an idiot. listen to me, "quilt of life"? what? that's not breaking it down, that's just embarrassing.

the end result is that even though my mind has been preoccupied with problems and musings virtually non-stop this last week or so, when it comes down to ranting about what has been bothering me...nothing is really that significant. conflicts at home hit me hard in an immediate sense but their effect seems to fade as my head sinks into my two soft pillows at night. money troubles (which, now, apparently, is to be a feature of my life) are similiar; somedays i worry, other days i don't even notice. it's like that. and that's the way it is. [song quote for novelty value.] as far as readings and assessments and uni work in general goes, i'm not scared. fear drives me--fear of failure, and by failure i mean coming second in the race that is marks--and since i'm not gripped by it, i'm not doing anything. i'm two weeks behind my media & comm readings already. and yes, that means i haven't done any readings at all. i did a meco assignment today in class, which it is quite possible i did badly in. perhaps a bad mark would be a good dose of disappointment to really fire me up (or freak me out, which is probably more accurate).

i've now got another actual friend, rather than just an aquaintance. his name is sam and he's undoubtably the best-looking meco boy in first-year. admittedly this is why is spoke to him in the first place. superficial any? it's ridiculous, i know. he was sitting alone, so i can pretend that i struck up conversation in pity of his loneliness. transparent any?

the downside to 'actual friends' is thus: we talk. to each other. namely throughout boring meco lectures. on the day before an assessment. probably missing vital information about said assessment. and probably annoying catherine lumby (which i highly doubt is a good idea, given the abrasive harshness of her personality).

but he's nice and loves music, and did similiar subjects to me, and shares a dislike of catherine lumby and of the prospect of pursuing print journalism as a full-time career.

my history friend, alana, is lovely. very pretty and stylish and smart and funny. she and sam are both in my english tut aswell, which is nice and makes me look popular. of course this is my sole aim and purpose in attending university. hehe.

that's enough for me tonight. tired; and predictably, haven't done my readings for tomorrow. i guess this blog just says, 'i am still alive, and now that my blog is un-disappeared, it too is alive and proverbially kicking'. woot woot woot.

tomorrow is my last day on uni this week, and i have next week off for easter break. so i'll have no excuse but to post faithfully in the coming days. and to that end i better save up my words and creativity and finger muscles.


sounds gracing my eardrums: mae, tisbury lane (everyone go to www.purevolume.com/mae and check out this most beautiful of songs)