you make it easy

god has taught me so much these last six months. it's ridiculous how much i've grown (like 10cm, haha i think i got my dad's sense of humour). it's incredible and wonderful and frightening.

i really want to say something, and it can't wait til after exams, so i'm going to do a dodgy job of saying it now.


god has surrounded me with so many fantastic christian guys this year. i'm not going to name them because most of them would hate the publicity and all of them know that they owe everything to god anyway. i think i thank my girlfriends all the time for being there for me...which is right and good, and, keeping in mind how screwed up my head is sometimes, they've really earned it by offering their ears and their hearts. but i think--i know--i neglect my male friends. i don't want to get too psychoanalytical on you all, or too mushy either, but: it's true that i don't like being single and that it's easy to blame guys, in general, for that fact. which is completely and utterly appalling. but it's the way my sinful mind connects the dots sometimes. it's true also that there have been times when guys haven't treated me particularly well, intentionally or otherwise. but there are so many more times guys have been wonderful to me. in the end, i remember the beautiful times and forget the rest.

thank you to my guy friends who respect and love me as their sister. thanks for being there for me and putting up with me, just as my girlfriends do. you are a blessing to me.

and i'm deeply sorry if i have offended any of you by posting ridiculous comments about the male variety on this blog. know that those comments are the result of the melodrama that inspires so many of these blog entries, and undoubtedly my insecurities and my attention-seeking.

please pray for me that i will find comfort in my relationship with christ jesus, and not take out my frustrations on the (undeserving) male race.


much love,
alix