so can we just try a resurrection? and prop up this fallen down plan?

it's really hard when you want something heaps and heaps but god doesn't seem forthcoming and seems to be telling you to wait and to learn and to be patient but patience is the least thing you feel yourself capable of. and when you can't help but be massively selfish and concerned only with your own personal happiness. and when you can't control your head and make it blurt out answers to assessment tasks all the while sitting at home because said assessment tasks are overshadowing everything and seem more important than jumping around to songs about pirates and hanging out with cool people and getting fatter on krispy kremes. yet not important enough to make you stop thinking about what you want heaps and heaps and make you stop resenting the fact that god has something different planned for you and all you feel is anger towards those who have what you want and guilt about feeling anger towards those who have what you want and about resenting the god whose grace sets your place at the feast of eternity and whose glory deserves to be your only concern.

it's a sad day when you notice the advertisements for online personals sites that sit at the bottom of the msn messenger window. not that you want to click on them coz even to notice them is pathetic enough and just adds to everything.