love is only a feeling

i have very little to say really. had a pretty good weekend, and by that i mean that the nights were good, and the days were full of note-writing. but the whole easter chocolate thing made even that more bearable. on saturday i went to bel's house with la and we watched live dvds...no the dvds weren't alive, but the music on them was recorded live. (i apologise for that terrible pun; claire and phil really are rubbing off on me.) jeff buckley, ben harper, jack johnson, john butler trio, and michael jackson filmclips to top it off--sweet dude. totally.

apparently bel's brother is now in love with me, because he thinks i'm emo. like one can 'be an emo'. which is really funny for anyone who knows me and my penchant for wearing pink and pearls. apparently my glasses and the badges on my bag gave my emo side away. hehe. i'm sooo not emo! hilarity.

on sunday night, church was fab, and millions of kids came back to bi's afterwards. we chilled, and talked, and watched stupid tv shows where dumb men hurt themselves and their possessions very badly, and embarassed themselves on sing star, and ate junk food. good times. i had a good chat with nish, about relationships and the like, which was nice. but it did prompt me to ask: why is it that so many of the boys i know see me only as a friend? what's up wit that? homie g?
;)

mood? chilled. love on the rocks with ice baby.

overgrowth of time

lack of bloggage lately corresponds to disappearance of said blog and the pain and suffering thus caused. [that sentence does not make sense, but one should excuse this due to inability to practice writing in coherent sensical sentences due to temporary death of blog.]

so much has happened, yet little to tell. it's funny how my 'issues' seem so profound and impactful and important on the day they are experienced. but when days merge into weeks, all my little problems are revealed as just that, just a mere stitch in the patchwork of the quilt of life. man, i am SUCH an idiot. listen to me, "quilt of life"? what? that's not breaking it down, that's just embarrassing.

the end result is that even though my mind has been preoccupied with problems and musings virtually non-stop this last week or so, when it comes down to ranting about what has been bothering me...nothing is really that significant. conflicts at home hit me hard in an immediate sense but their effect seems to fade as my head sinks into my two soft pillows at night. money troubles (which, now, apparently, is to be a feature of my life) are similiar; somedays i worry, other days i don't even notice. it's like that. and that's the way it is. [song quote for novelty value.] as far as readings and assessments and uni work in general goes, i'm not scared. fear drives me--fear of failure, and by failure i mean coming second in the race that is marks--and since i'm not gripped by it, i'm not doing anything. i'm two weeks behind my media & comm readings already. and yes, that means i haven't done any readings at all. i did a meco assignment today in class, which it is quite possible i did badly in. perhaps a bad mark would be a good dose of disappointment to really fire me up (or freak me out, which is probably more accurate).

i've now got another actual friend, rather than just an aquaintance. his name is sam and he's undoubtably the best-looking meco boy in first-year. admittedly this is why is spoke to him in the first place. superficial any? it's ridiculous, i know. he was sitting alone, so i can pretend that i struck up conversation in pity of his loneliness. transparent any?

the downside to 'actual friends' is thus: we talk. to each other. namely throughout boring meco lectures. on the day before an assessment. probably missing vital information about said assessment. and probably annoying catherine lumby (which i highly doubt is a good idea, given the abrasive harshness of her personality).

but he's nice and loves music, and did similiar subjects to me, and shares a dislike of catherine lumby and of the prospect of pursuing print journalism as a full-time career.

my history friend, alana, is lovely. very pretty and stylish and smart and funny. she and sam are both in my english tut aswell, which is nice and makes me look popular. of course this is my sole aim and purpose in attending university. hehe.

that's enough for me tonight. tired; and predictably, haven't done my readings for tomorrow. i guess this blog just says, 'i am still alive, and now that my blog is un-disappeared, it too is alive and proverbially kicking'. woot woot woot.

tomorrow is my last day on uni this week, and i have next week off for easter break. so i'll have no excuse but to post faithfully in the coming days. and to that end i better save up my words and creativity and finger muscles.


sounds gracing my eardrums: mae, tisbury lane (everyone go to www.purevolume.com/mae and check out this most beautiful of songs)

there's no atmosphere on the moon

yesterday night, after my pathetic little one hour lecture, i went to bondi junction ostensibly to see if borders, which was having a sale, had any of my uni textbooks for cheaper than the crazily jacked-up prices of the charming co-op bookshop. i ended up buying four cds. i truly am unstoppable! so now there are wonderful sounds impressing my eardrums, namely:

free the bees, the bees
i know next to nothing about this band except that they are fab and obscure; they have this excellent retro 60s sound and have funny lyrics including the title of this blog. i shall endeavour to find out more about them i suppose, i'm thinking they're either british or american? there's this one particularly great instrumental song called 'russian' that goes for about six minutes. it's muchly great, with brass and everything.)
the hustle, g-love
since i'm seeing jack johnson, donavon frankenreiter, xavier rudd and g-love next friday at centennial park--speaking of which yay yay yay--i figured i should get me some musical education of the g-love variety since he's the only one i haven't really heard. it's so great! he's funkier and rougher than jack, more eclectic in his sound, more inventive and experimental. at this point i'm liking him more than jack, so i'm doubly excited for next friday!)
moon safari, air
been meaning to buy this one for about a hundred years, and it is certainly not a disappointment. i love that song 'sexy boy'; i think maybe it's on the 10 things soundtrack? anyway, it's awesome atmospheric chill-out mellow study music, and i love it.
soundtrack to the virgin suicides, (also by) air
got this cd for a wicked 10 bucks. another cd that's been pined after for much the same reason as moon safari.


i think i'm going to give up on boys and just take up a love affair with music fulltime. i can't get enough. now if only i had more opportunities to make my own music... ;)


since yesterday was 'youth group eve' (hi lara), today is 'youth group day,' which inspires excitement each friday. it's so much fun being a kid. tonight should prove interesting (as in a bit weird) due to some craziness which has unfolded this week. but nonetheless, it's something to look forward to through work. weirdness at work too: my mates dave and bec have randomly gotten together. i sorta guessed it was happening, though i have no idea how since it virtually came out of nowhere. they better not break up or get heaps cut at each other, because teasing dave is like the only thing that gets me through friday arvos.


today was my first official day of uni, per se, and it was largely uneventful. typed out some notes for english because i was feeling motivated, then got over feeling motivated, then had a quick look for laptops at the shops, then came home. things change really fast. on monday i felt like i had all this 'boy news', as in news in the boy department, but now i don't really have anyone. which is mildly depressing, but also a lot less complicated and emotionally less stressful. so i'm feeling pretty mellow really. nothing's really fazing me at the moment.

slap that bass

so let me get this straightsay now you loved me all along?what made you hesitateto tell me with words what you really feel?i can see it in your eyes you mean all of what you sayi remember so along ago see I felt the same waynow we both have separate lives and lovers (and lovers)insignificately enough we both have significate othersonly time will telltime will turn and tellwe are who we were whencould've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friendwe are whowe are who we were whenwho knew what we know nowcould've been more but at least you're still my day late friendwe are whowe are who we were whenBut thoughts they change and times they rearrange i don't know who you are anymoreloves come and go and this i know i'm not who you recall anymorebut i must confess you're so much more then i remembercan't help but entertain these thoughtsthoughts of us togetherwe are who we were whencould've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friendwe are whowe are who we were whenwho knew what we know nowcould've been more but at least you're still my day late friendwe are whowe are who we were whenmy day late friendso let me get this straightall these years and you were no where to be foundand now you want me for your ownbut you're a day late and my love she's still at homewe are who we were whencould've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friendwe are whowe are who we were whenwho knew what we know nowcould've been more but at least you're still my day late friendwe are whowe are who we were when

i know everybody here wants you

if you can't hold yourself together
why should I hold you now?

big shout out to bel, who, in keeping with being fabulous and wonderful, put up with my ranting today and listened to stuff i just couldn't keep in my confused little head. you rock kid.


uni this week has been ok. the supreme crapness of university english (what does a full stop look like? what is the importance of punctuation? how does one construct a paragraph, or even--shock horror--an essay?!?) has dulled, somewhat, the decent-ness of my first meco (media and communications) lecture, and the brilliance of studying history again. i can feel a healthy dose of cynicism and a capacity for coherent academic and abstract thought slowly (ok, very slowly) permeating the recesses of my holiday-numbed brain. hell, i couldn't have written a sentence as pretentious as that one a week ago!!

good news is that my timetable is pretty good; bad news is that it could be better. i have fridays off, but i have to come in on thursdays for one lecture at 4pm. which is annoying because i will spend at least double the amount of time i spend at the lecture travelling there and back. but i can dig it. (can you dig it?--robert smith rocks my socks!) i mean, it's only first semester so there's a fair bit of novelty factor in the whole going to uni process thing. i'm sure that'll wear off by, oh, probably tomorrow. but nevertheless.

good news is that i've found it ridiculously easy to make friends. eu helps in that respect, but i've discovered in myself a rather welcome self-confidence and assured conversationalism with all the randoms i've been bowling up to on campus.

good news is that i got a fab new uni bag that's all purple and squishy and cool, and is now covered in badges and kitschy little objects. my kitschiness is accelerating at an exciting pace with the advent of never-ending 'mufti weeks'. love it!

i really should start going through stuff and work out what readings i need to do this week, so i can have the weekend off. not that i have anything planned--and a certain someone seems to be screwing me around with regards my social life, grr. but still. :S

oh yeah, one important announcement:
boys
are dumb.
the end.



sounds gracing my eardrums: dashboard confessional, as lovers go

i'm still waiting for you to be the one i'm waiting for

things in the works; work in progress. watch this space.

boy meets girl. girl likes boy. then?
:)

feeling ok, excited to become all nerdful tomorrow at my first day at uni.

cash money...can you buy me true love?

what
i
want
(in no particular order)

1.) to be happy

2.) a laptop computer

3.) a new phone, which isn't possessed by the devil and therefore doesn't specialise in the 'techno moo' ring tone when it's feeling insane

4.) enough money to see all my favourite bands when they tour; enough money to go to bluesfest

5.) either intense physical beauty, or to have physical beauty mean nothing to me

6.) many a cd

7.) fitness, and a lightly-defined six-pack (hehe)

8.) to be self-esteemed

9.) to understand that god is always in control

10.) a charitable soul

11.) chocolate

12.) the ability to play bass and to write songs

13.) a band, maybe a stage band, or a jazz trio, with whom i can indulge my penchant for scatting

14.) to be as cool as lara and as good a friend as claire

15.) all the kitschy asian clothes and shoes and accessories my little heart desires

16.) a manifestation of:

"her wedding day and she's thinking about

the way he won her affection

she was so cynical about love

‘cause she didn't want to be heart broken again

he looked her in her eye with sincerity,

said he only wanted to protect her so she

took a chance on him and she's glad she did

because he came for real

and he did, just what he said,

for that she'll love him forever

he kept his word to her,

for that she'll love him forever."

(india.arie, promises)

so little time

sweet summer soundtrack...in the true spirit of mary-kate and ashley goodness...
(not in any particular order)

1.) spoon, that's the way we get by
2.) the beautiful girls, weight of the world
3.) gwen stefani, what are you waiting for?
4.) the streets, it was supposed to be so easy
5.) relient k, which to bury, us or the hatchet?
6.) gem, just a ride
7.) five iron frenzy, every new day
8.) red hot chili peppers, suck my kiss
9.) reel big fish, beer
10.) the dandy warhols, godless
11.) missy higgins, the special two
12.) sounds like chicken, entrails
13.) crying out loud, portrait of weakness
14.) anberlin, paperthin hymn
15.) joel turner, these kids
16.) silverchair, tuna in the brine
17.) nina simone, feeling good
18.) jamiroquai, canned heat
19.) alicia keys, if i aint got you
20.) carmen mccrae, is you is or is you aint my baby?
21.) switchfoot, gone
22.) u2, vertigo
23.) gavin degraw, just friends
24.) fm static, definitely maybe
25.) blues brothers feat. aretha franklin, think
26.) idea of north, masquenada
27.) israel kamakawiwo'ole, somewhere over the rainbow
28.) natasha bedingfield, these words
29.) 88, how good it can be
30.) the darkness, love is only a feeling
31.) cordrazine, crazy
32.) ben harper, brown eyed blues
33.) the whitlams, no aphrodisiac
34.) smashing pumpkins, tonight tonight
35.) hugh masekela, mama
36.) billy joel, vienna
37.) portishead, glory box
38.) india.arie, promises
39.) placebo, pure morning
40.) the cat empire, the lost song

break it down for ecleticism